Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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