Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize