Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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