Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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