How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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