i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
