She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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