he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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