And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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