Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
