so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
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You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
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It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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