Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Porn is love you can see.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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