After last night, I could never be a politician.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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