your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
There r osticjed everywhere
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
