We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
