I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Everyone says I win the strip club
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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