I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize