you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
