im about as happy as oj after his trial
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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