his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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