I want to walk on stilts...naked
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
