I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize