I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize