got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
