Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
