Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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