? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
