You're completely useless in the revolution.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
