like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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