Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
