If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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