I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
