i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
