She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
