the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
