At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize