I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
