her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
