when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
They are going to name an STD after you.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
