if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
This is my gift to your gina
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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