Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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