Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Everything about him screamed your future.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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