I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
