i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
