Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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