Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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