I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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