You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
