In America we eat man semen.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
