found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I would ride that face into the sunset
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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