I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
