You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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