you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
