Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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