god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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