his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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