idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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